At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
