what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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