i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
