your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
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Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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