Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
