im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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