4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
