How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
