I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
