We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
