I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
