My first STD was from a foam party
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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