I just saw a hot homeless man
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
