I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
