no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
