I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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