I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
