OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
