"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell her she can't have a vagina
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
