I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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