i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
someone owes me an orgasm
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
