so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
