if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
