Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
