i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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