I wannas sexs uuuuu
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
