It's Friday. Sex?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
