Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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