I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
