We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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