Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
