So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
