and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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