My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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