Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
