not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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