So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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