If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
