i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
