It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
