i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
