I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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