I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
