The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
