Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize