so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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