I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
