I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
