we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
