the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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