two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
