How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
