butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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