Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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