i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
