i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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