U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
