i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
